Selfish
by Leiria
Summary: Hermione's tired of the simple life. She wants Harry to be selfish just once. H/HR


**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or anything related to it. They belong to JKR and her associates.**

**AN: An Epilogue Protest. I know there have been a lot of them since Deathly Hollows came out, but I gotta put out one more. H/Hr Some inspiration comes from Idena Menzel's song **_**Perfume and Promises,**_** but not much.**

Selfish

The house was too crowded. Every member of the Weasley clan seemed to be in the kitchen and spilling into the living room. Hermione felt like an intruder despite having been virtually adopted by Mr. and Mrs. Weasley so many years ago. Summers between years at Hogwarts seemed so long ago, like a distant memory falling between the cracks of her fingers like water. Though the atmosphere was brighter now, the loss of Fred had tainted things forever. Years later, the effect was clear. George, once the life of any party, seemed only half of himself even now. Bill had cut his hair and taken the dragon tooth earring out, saying that it was because the baby kept trying to pull it out. Charley stopped working with dragons so he could live a less dangerous life. Percy, Hermione thought, felt the loss of Fred more acutely than anyone else, save George. He had been holding Fred's body after all.

Hermione broke away from the family and stepped out the back door. She walked down the three steps and sat down on the middle one, running her hands through her hair. With a heavy sigh, she looked out over the hedges of the back yard and saw one of the garden gnomes running away with an armful of turnips. Hermione smiled, just a little, and looked up at the sky. The bright blue summer sky seemed to be a complete contrast of the atmosphere inside. After a moment, Hermione looked at her hands. The light glinted off of the stone in her ring and made her wonder if this really was the life she wanted. She almost craved a return to her Hogwarts years, knowing the excitement would be better than the rut she'd found herself in. She woke up each morning, showered, dressed, had a cup of coffee and went to work. She ate lunch in Diagon Alley with Ron and sometimes Harry, then went back to work. When the day ended, she went back to her flat, ate dinner and cleaned up. Sometimes Ron would come over and they would spend the evening together before she shoved him out the door around ten. She spun the engagement ring around her finger, lost in her thoughts.

Ron was safe. Familiar. A person she would be comfortable with if she didn't crave the excitement from the life she no longer had to live. He was also the only one she could see herself being with had her first choice not fallen in love with someone else. Settling for second best had never been Hermione's way of life, but in this case, she didn't have much choice. He had never looked at her as anything more than a friend, or possibly even sister. Hermione remembered hearing the words once, standing a few feet away unbeknownst to the conversing people. _She's like a sister to me._ The words had broken her heart and made her realize that second best was really all she was going to get.

With a sigh, Hermione stood and turned to go back into the house. She started, not having realized someone else had come outside. "Harry!" she cried, clutching her fist over her heart. "You scared the life out of me," she said.

Harry gave her a sheepish grin. "Sorry," he said. "You didn't look like you wanted to be disturbed and I didn't want want to be inside anymore. You okay?" he asked.

Hermione sighed. "It's just...depressing in there," she said. "You'd think that after all these years..."

Harry nodded. "Not that it's really been that many," he said. "I mean, Fred was twenty after all. That's a long time to be around a person, and the longer you know them, the longer the mourning period is after they've gone."

"And yet, they've already moved on, at least on the surface."

"Fake it until you make it," Harry said softly, walking down the steps. "It's something we all do, isn't it?" he asked.

"What does that mean?" Hermione asked.

Harry shrugged. "I think we're all putting up a front," he said. "All of us trying to pretend that we're happy with the things are and that we don't mind that we're not getting exactly what we want."

Hermione wondered if Harry had somehow heard her thoughts and felt a little suspicious that he had said out loud what she had been thinking. "What makes you say that?" she asked.

Harry gave her a slight smile. "Because you and I are standing outside while everyone else is inside celebrating my birthday," he said.

"And how does it feel to be twenty-three?" Hermione asked.

Harry shrugged. "How does it feel to be twenty-four?" he asked in reply.

Hermione chuckled. "Not much different, I'm afraid," she said. She sighed and sat back down on the steps. Harry joined her a moment later. "Do you miss it?" she asked. "Not the bad parts, but the times when we did something fun. The times when everything was intense but it was in a good way..."

Harry sighed. "Sometimes," he said. "I suppose becoming an Auror would solve that problem, but I don't think I'm ready to jump back into fighting dark wizards just yet. Sometimes I think I'm still recovering from a battle that happened six years ago. Other times, I kind of like the quiet life. I like being able to wake up in the morning feeling safe and being able to sleep without having to keep one eye open. It's nice, you know?" he asked. "But also really boring."

"I feel the same way," Hermione said softly. She sighed and ran her hands through her hair again, her ring catching on a slight knot. She winced as she pulled her hand free and rubbed her scalp. "So what do we do about it?" she asked.

"Go skydiving?" Harry asked with a chuckle.

Hermione laughed. "The savior of the Wizarding race wants to do something _Muggle_ for excitement?" she asked.

Harry shrugged. "It can't be much different than falling fifty feet from my broomstick in third year," he said with a smile. "What do you say? Will you jump out of a perfectly good airplane with me?"

Hermione smiled. "I don't even like flying," she said. "Besides, Ron would want to go and it would be a bad idea to take him into a Muggle flying device and then talk him into jumping out of it with a Muggle parachute. He'd want to use magic at some point and that wouldn't be a good idea."

Harry shrugged. "Ginny would probably want to go too," he said. "We could just not tell them," he said.

"That wouldn't work, Harry," Hermione said. "They'd know we were doing something together behind their backs and they're already jealous of us enough."

Harry sighed. "I think that was better left unsaid," he said softly, looking at his clasped hands.

The moment was there, thick and hanging in the air, making both of their hearts race and their stomachs tie up in knots. All the things left unsaid, all the lingering gazes and touches, the feelings that had been stomped down into little boxes kept in the backs of their minds where nothing could touch them...

"Maybe we need to talk about it," Hermione said softly. "I'd like the air cleared and things settled before Ron and I get married. It wouldn't be fair to him..."

"If we talk about it, what happens?" Harry asked, looking at her. "It won't resolve anything, Hermione, the feelings will still be there and the choices have already been made. You made that decision in our fourth year when you told Ron that the next time there was a ball he should ask you."

"I wasn't the only one who made the decision, Harry," Hermione replied. "You stepped aside. You let him take the lead when it was you that I wanted to do it. You made the choice too."

Harry sighed. "I thought it was what you wanted," he said softly. "And Ron always hated me for getting everything he wanted, I didn't want to lose his friendship again. If it meant letting him have the girl we both wanted, I was willing to make that sacrifice."

"Was?" Hermione asked. "You're not anymore?"

Harry stared at his hands for a moment. "I...I don't know... The hero's supposed to get the girl, isn't he?" he asked, looking at Hermione. "Ron's a hero too. Hell, he's actually more popular than I am these days because he gladly goes to any interview and I'm still trying to get away from the limelight. Of course, by all rights, you're a hero and you could probably get anyone you fancy..."

"Clearly, I can't," Hermione said softly. "Otherwise, we wouldn't be having this conversation."

"Well, I blew it, didn't I?" Harry asked bitterly. "It's his ring on your finger after all. His name you're about to take..."

"Say the word, Harry, and we can change that," Hermione whispered.

Harry shook his head. "Could you honestly hurt him like that?" he asked. "Could you honestly say to him that you're leaving him because I finally came to my senses? It would break both their hearts, Hermione. It's better this way."

"When is it going to be time for you to be happy?" Hermione asked. "When are you going to make a decision for yourself? When are you going to get to be selfish?"

"I don't have that luxury," Harry said, looking at the ground at his feet. "I never have."

"Then I'll be selfish," Hermione said. She took her ring off and put it on the step between them. "I love you," she said before she stood up and walked away. She got to the end of the property and Disapparated. Harry stared in shock and picked up her engagement ring. A few strands of her hair were stuck in the prongs holding the small diamond in the band. He pulled the hairs out and let the light breeze carry them away before he stood. As he turned to go inside, the door opened and Ron appeared.

He looked around, confused. "Where'd Hermione go?" he asked.

Harry sighed and held out the ring in his hand. "She left," he said. "I don't know where she went."

Ron numbly took the ring from Harry, a look of pale shock on his face. "She...left me?" he asked, looking into his best friend's eyes. "Why didn't she talk to me about it?" he asked. "What did she say?"

Harry sighed. "She said she wanted to be selfish," he said. "She's tired of the quiet life."

Ron clenched his hand around the ring. "I'll be back," he said, before he plowed passed Harry to the edge of the lawn. He quickly Disapparated and Harry wondered if Ron would be able to figure out where Hermione had gone.

Harry made his way inside and found himself suddenly in the arms of his girlfriend. "There you are," she said with a smile. "I was wondering where you'd run off to."

Harry forced a smile and gave her a quick kiss. "Just needed some air," he said.

"Where's Ron and Hermione?" Ginny asked.

Harry sighed. "I think Hermione just left Ron and he's trying to find her," he said. "She left her ring behind."

Ginny frowned. "Did she say anything?" she asked. "Weren't you both out there?"

Harry nodded. "She said she wanted to be selfish and that she was tired of living a simple life."

Ginny suddenly had a fearful look in her eyes. "I'm not going to lose you too, am I?" she asked.

Harry stared at her in shock. "Why would you think that?" he asked.

"Because I know what Hermione really wants and I know who you compare me to," Ginny said softly. "I mean...if it makes you happy..."

Harry kissed Ginny reassuringly. "I'm not planning on going anywhere," he said. "I couldn't hurt you like that."

Ginny sighed and let Harry go. "Did you stop to think that maybe it hurts me more that I know you're settling for me?" she asked. "That loving you means I want you happy with or without me? Don't you think I've noticed how you look at her? That I've noticed how she looks at you? Ron's thick, Harry, not me. You know where she is. You should go be with her."

Harry sighed. "I don't want to hurt you, Gin," he said softly.

Ginny forced a smile. "You're not," she said. "Go. I'll find someone new. More than anyone, Harry, you deserve to be happy. It's not me who makes you happy so go be with the one who does. I'll be fine, Harry, really. It never was meant to be."

Harry sighed. "Thank you," he said softly, kissing her cheek and leaving the house once more. He looked back as he reached the edge of the property and saw Ginny looking out through the kitchen window. He waved before he Disapparated.

)O(

Hermione folded her arms and waited for one of them to arrive. She knew they were both likely to come, Ron before Harry, and she wasn't disappointed. Ron appeared a few feet away only moments after her arrival.

"What the hell is going on?" he asked, his voice sounding hurt, confused, and a little angry. "Are you really leaving me?"

Hermione sighed. She nodded. "Yes, Ron," she said. "I'm sorry, I know you were hoping for the rest of our lives, but I can't do it anymore. I can't settle."

"Is that all it was?" Ron asked. "You settling? Am I really just second best?"

Hermione sighed. "I knew you wouldn't understand," she said softly. "That's why I just left."

"I found you, didn't I?" he asked. "Don't you think I know why you came here? It's _his_ place. It's where _he _comes when he wants to be alone. You two always were perfect for each other," he said shaking his head. "I was stupid to think you could love me the way you do him." Ron threw the ring down at her feet. "Stay away from me," he said darkly before Disapparating.

And then Harry Apparated to the same spot. "I knew I'd find you here," he said.

Hermione chuckled. "So did Ron," she said as she bent down to pick up the ring. "I think he hates me."

"He'll get over it," Harry said softly. "So Ginny just broke up with me," he said with a lighter note in his voice. "She decided that she didn't want to be second best any more."

"She knew?" Hermione asked.

Harry chuckled. "There aren't many who don't," he said. He reached for her hand and Hermione placed hers in his. Harry took the ring she was holding and held it in his free hand for a moment before he pulled her closer. "What did Ron say?" he asked.

Hermione sighed. "To stay away from him," she said. "He's not happy."

"Ginny was oddly understanding," Harry said. "I expected her to be angry."

Hermione chuckled. "I'm sure she'll scream at me in a couple of days," she said. "Especially if you and I really do something about this."

"I wish I could know what it would be like before making the decision," Harry said softly. "Not that it hasn't already been made..."

"I can tell you our futures in one hundred words or less," Hermione said with a smile. "For both paths. In one hand," Hermione said, gesturing to the ring in Harry's hand, "you marry Ginny. You're both happy but there's that feeling that never goes away that says that you would both rather have something different. Regardless, you two stay together. You have three kids, two boys and a girl. The oldest, of course, is named James and your daughter's name is Lily. Your second son is either named after Sirius or someone else important. You go on with your lives and die an old man, warm in your bed with your Ginny, your kids, and your grandkids huddled around you."

"Okay," Harry said with a nod.

"In the other hand," Hermione said, holding up their entwined hands, "you marry me. We're unbelievably happy, have five kids," she said with a smile, "and there's never a dull moment because we're always filling the lulls with playful spats or going out and doing something fun. We don't stay together because we're afraid of something different, we stay together because we know that we would be incomplete without the other. Again, you die an old man, but you feel like you've reached the end fulfilled. You weren't afraid to go for what you wanted. You weren't afraid to be selfish just once. I'll even bet we die on the same day."

Harry smiled. "That sounds perfect," he said, pulling Hermione a little bit closer. "Looks like the hero really does get what he wants once in a while," he said with a smile before he slipped her ring into his pocket and wrapped his arm around her waist. "Does this mean I get to kiss you now?"

Hermione smiled. "You don't have to ask me that," she said softly, tilting her head up as Harry lowered his to kiss her.

**One of my shorter one-shots. I tried to make it longer but I couldn't think of anything else to write. R&R!**


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